I expected it to be this year.
No one was going to change my mind. I didn’t know exactly when, but 2016 was going to be the year.
I had this crazy idea that if I started praying about it months before, God would have a head start on answering it.
Where did I get that from?
So months before I would usher in a new beginning I sat on my comfy bed and prayed for the upcoming year and all the dreams and wishes I had. I laid out that one request. Kind of sandwiched it in there with the, “I pray over my family, may I be obedient to Your will … and I pray for this one request to be answered exactly as I’m asking, and umm … good health.”
So maybe it didn’t sound exactly as above, but you get the point.
What I didn’t expect was the response I received. See, I had already made up my mind – and I learned – so had God.
And we weren’t on the same page.
I sensed an answer I didn’t want. I hadn’t prepared myself to receive it either.
Not this year is what I felt in my heart.
It was my birthday. That day. That day I spent praying to God about my future. It was my birthday. I can tell you it wasn’t a good one. I trudged through the day and the week. Angry. Upset. Until I accepted it. I learned to accept it.
I learned to accept that the time was not now, that this would not be the year.
And while this isn’t my year – I will have to watch it be the year for many others. I will have to listen to those whose year it is. Sit next to and talk with those whose year it is. Reminisce with those whose year it is. And know very well in my heart that it’s not my year – and it won’t be. And I will have to be OK with that.
I’ve learned to be OK with that.
Through time, God has helped me to be more than OK; through prayer, He’s helped me to be happy for those whose time has come.
Because I can sit in jealousy or stand with them and be joyful.
I can sleep with discontent or awake with them and dream.
I can sit on the sidelines and hold my applause, or I can cheer them on. I choose to cheer them on.
And I will do so with the utmost delight, and wait with joyful expectancy for when it is my time. Because one day it will be my year. One day it will be your year.
We all have times in our lives when we’re ready for that next step in life. It could be marriage, children, publishing that book, speaking to that crowd, signing that contract. We’re ready to grab hold of that dream, we see it, and we want it, but God is whispering, not now. Not this year. Beloved, your time has not yet come.
God is still putting the pieces together. He has our best interest at heart.
Our Father is not forgetful – He is faithful.
We must trust Him in the process and wait patiently as He brings our dreams to pass.
It may not be today, and it may not be tomorrow.
And that’s OK.
God’s timing – it’s perfect.
I don’t know if next year God will answer my prayer, but instead of moping around like I did initially, I’m using this time wisely. Preparing myself. Rejoicing with those whose year it is. And celebrating with those whose time has come.
“But if we look forward to something we don’t yet have, we must wait patiently and confidently.” (Romans 8:25, NLT)
Give me a heart of joy for those who are being blessed by things I desire. Take away any jealousy or bitterness I may be holding and replace it with love.
In Jesus’ name, Amen.